May 13, 2012 – Ordinary Treasures

Mother’s Day Finale

May 13, 2012

The final post to my Mother’s Day Week series is obvious, a climax to the entire series. You saw this coming right? You know I am talking about you Mom. (tears)

Behind this successful young man, there is a good mother. And what I say today Mom I do not say on my own, but I say it in the voice of three sons, James, Joseph, and Joshua.

Mom, you were there when dad had his seizure, and your presence during that incredibly scary time brought peace. And you were there when Grandpa and Grandma died. And you were there when we lost dogs like Yappy and Buttercup.

But you were there during great events too, like graduations from Pepperdine and ACU, and during my trip to Italy, and for that incredible family driving trip from Cali to Kentucky, where we had ham for breakfast, lunch and dinner over and over again.

But your presence has an interesting twist. While I am the oldest child, we have not always been perfectly tight. Sometimes, church relationships have made things tough between us, and sometimes, we have probably not always been on the same page. But you shown me about perseverance in relationships. You have never quit in our relationship. You never quit when family relationships were tense and uneasy. You never quit when it seemed like life was falling apart financially and there were great pressures at home and work. You never quit. And you persevere through it all.

You know about perseverance. You know about the troubles and difficulties in life and yet you continue through and continue to be positive about what life brings you. Even when churches are not home, you persevere for others, for your nieces and nephews, for yourself, for the family. Your presence then was always about helping others make it, helping others to feel like life was not going to end right then and there. This is helpful perspective and presence- it is invaluable. When crisis happens, you care that people make it and that people get along. And you will keep people together so that they can persevere through it. As a chaplain, I get to help families persevere.

And from you I have learned the meaning of family. You continue to try to give your children what you may not have had. You continue to focus on your kids, your grandchild, your nieces and nephews. It is absolutely incredible how much responsibility you place on yourself for family, and it is a sign of how important family is to a good life. It is not that family is important just because, but you value family because that is where love needs to be found and where life begins. This attitude and perspective of yours encourages and makes me want to look forward to my own family. I look forward to the time when I get to bring my kids to you, because I know you will be an incredible grandmother as you are a wonderful mother, simply because you treasure the place of family.

For our family, you have been glue for us. You have instilled in us the need for one another, the need to persevere, and also, the need to dream. You have been a constant source of encouragement to pursue more. You have encouraged me along the way, affirmed the path of each brother, and wanted us to be happy. For me that has been a dream of being a chaplain and moving away, and you have been a support of those things. And you have encouraged us to dream of other smaller things, like being an adventurer around Southern California and wanting to drive cross country. Dreaming is something you do and encourage, and I hope and pray that your own dreams become reality as they have for me.

Thanks Mom for all you do and for all that you are. Thanks Mom for encouraging me to be what I can be and actually pursue the dreams. Thanks Mom for being present and persevering and for setting an example that your mom, Grandma would be proud of. Love you!

My Grandmother Lorine

May 13, 2012

Mother’s Day Week, Day 7 (albeit a day late). So this week, I have had the wonderful gift of thanking and telling the story of women who have been incredibly meaningful in my life- Cyndi Pardee, Jacqui Denham, Glenda McDonald, Nugget Skates, Norma Hoch, Luci Bell, and now my maternal grandmother, Lorine Goldy, who from now on I will call Grandma.

I don’t know how much I can express to you about this lady without running out of appropriate words. My Grandma was a very spiritual lady- she read Scripture out loud every morning out loud. I cannot begin to tell you how formative this was for me, even though my brothers and I were not raised in one congregation or faith tradition. To this day, the fact that she read Scripture every morning has been the shape of faith for me. I try to read every morning because I associate that activity with being faithful. It also provided the ground for me to see how faith mattered outside of church, for Scripture was the present reality of God, day in and day out. Thus, I learned very early that Scripture was like hearing the voice of God, and further, that one does not have to have an deeply theological understanding of Scripture for it to become a shaping influence on our lives, for us as humans to yearn for it like the deer pants for water. Simply from reading Scripture out loud and faithfully every day everywhere.

But my grandmother was way more than that. She brought smiles to others faces. Her singing was often known as more hair raisingly strained than melodic, and certainly she never had a problem joking about her voice. But in all of the unmelody there was never anything but praise. She loved to sing, loved to sing the classics, not because she was good at it, but because she truly loved God. But we loved to laugh at her when she sung.

And she was a hoot at church. She was an extrovert who loved people. One of the things she loved to do is have monthly potlucks for which she would put together birthday celebrations. One time she made musical insruments out of old toilet paper rolls, and had the people celebrating birthdays play them to an old tune. She was hilarious, and would not mind making a fool of herself. She loved to laugh, loved to play, was self effacing, and thoroughly enjoyed fellowship- good Christian fellowship and laughs was worth being a fool for.

It was my Grandma that encouraged me to move towards ministry. She affirmed my gifts, encouraged me to keep going, loved hearing my lessons from classes when I came back from Pepperdine. It was her encouragement that got me to Pepperdine Lectureships one year, where I saw Pepperdine, fell in love with the school, and saw people of faith learning and loving Scripture. When I went to Pepperdine, she longed to hear me preach and I could not help but be in tears as I preached my first Sunday night at college worship, got it taped, and brought it home for my bedridden grandmother who would die just a month later. She got to watch her grandson preach, and I could not hold back my tears and joy.

She walked alongside of me in faith. She placed faith and God in her life in remarkable ways, and thus created life wherever she went. Thus, she became my partner in life, and my partner in faith. It must be said that I was her oldest grandchild, and that came along with a special relationship that could only transform my life. She was my partner as I developed and reached into a life of caring and ministering to others. She became my best friend during difficult times and I learned from her how difficult times were to be managed and experienced. Through an honest faith, and honest life, and a life of laughs. With that, life was truly blessed.

Unfortunately, she could not make it past that Christmas season in my junior year of college. She went into home hospice care at our house, and died shortly before Christmas. It was a difficult loss. It was a brutally difficult time before she died, traumatic to see her completely lose control of her body and lose the consciousness that made her life so vibrant.

But let me tell you this. Her memory lives on so powerfully in me and in my life. My ministry is a gift I continually give back to her. My ministry to families and children is an honor to her. The glue I have become for my family is a testimony to her. I laugh because she laughed, and I cry as she cried. I help as she helped, I love as she loved. My Grandma laid down her life for me, and up from her memory she has borne fruit for the kingdom of God. Praise God for my Grandma!